Diary of a spa virgin
Osteopath and masseur Emma Kipps later explains to me that massage, done properly, can reduce the thickening and hardening of muscles, release deep tension and improve movement by stretching.
She adds that men are a growing segment of the spa market - 30 percent in the US and up to 40 percent in Australia - and not just for New Age metrosexuals.
Her treatments principally use VitaMan products for men, which are used by such luminaries as George Clooney, Russell Crowe and Brad Pitt.
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For my session, the skin is cleansed with lemon myrtle, walnut scrub exfoliates the dead skin, while a red wine age control mask infuses marine collagens and "powerful" antioxidants.
I also have a head massage, which is a revelation, as Kipps increases blood circulation and releases tension in the fine scalp muscle layer, with camphor and menthol preparations - finishing with a warm bamboo massage on the legs.
The next day is an early start but I am feeling unusually chipper, my body is more energized and the skin on my knees feels like a teen's. Which is odd.
My traveling companion, a spa expert, asks my masseur Ashi whether I was a pliant novice.
"He was like a baby," she says, laughing, as we undergo yet another massage session on the banks of a river in Ubud.
Afterward, we repair to a canvas tent and as the dying sun sheds its twilight vestments, we are treated to an Indonesian dance performance and a glass of chardonnay.
After three days full of intensive treatments I am no longer a spa virgin, but not quite a spa junkie.
Certainly the feeling is one of "wellness", but it undoubtedly helps that I am in idyllic surroundings, good company and seriously well-trained hands.
